Disclaimer: This article is entirely in satire. Exercise humor and tread lightly. Some colorful language.

It may be daunting, deciding to offend a number of people at once, but here are some quick and easy steps to help you along the rocky path. Remember, anyone can be offensive, even very nice people with great intensions and with care and condescendence anyone can manage to alienate a great many people.

Part 1: Composing your entrance

Be Right.

The best way to stir up a lot of dissension is to start with a good point. That places you firmly on the sides of the angels and light, and garners support for your cause, no matter how irritating you are. Besides, you can rest easily at night knowing that you were Right, even if you were an A$$hole. You will know that you are morally superior for standing up for your cause, and you can take poor reactions to your approach as proof of stupidity, blindness and mass behavior.

Be Voluminous.

Bring in lots of things that aren't crucial to your point. Drop lots of names. Quote emails from months and months ago, preferably out of context. Point out specific instances and provide links and drown the reader in additional information. Simple-minded masses are easily baffled by a lot of words, and they will think your issue is crucial if there is a lot of information provided. They won't be too discerning about whether or not it all matters.

Make it dirty and personal.

Assume a lot of things about the people you are speaking ill about, and assign blame everywhere you can. Use offensive descriptors about the people at fault, and point out repeatedly the things that they have done wrong. Their actions don't have to have anything to do with an actual issue, and you can safely assume that everything they have ever done has been in their position of authority, not as an individual. Make them look as terrible as possible and belittle anyone who supports them with insulting terms, too.

Make no actual suggestions.

That would defeat the point and might actually accomplish something. Avoid this at all costs.

Make it hugely public.

Find every community remotely associated with the issue you are attempting not to solve and spam them all. Do not bother reading the rules, and don't assume the rules apply to you if you do. Remember, you don't have to worry about bothering people with multiple posts because you're Right, and that makes everything kosher.

Part 2: Reacting to Responses

Defend yourself vehemently.

Remember, you are Right, and that means that most everything written against you is Wrong. Pick every complaint about your crusade into little pieces and justify yourself repeatedly. Use great catch-phrases often, and use insulting but vague adjectives wherever possible. Sprinkle in 'ha-ha's and :)s often... this will keep people off guard and make them question whether or not you are serious in your insults.

Mock people for their mistakes.

This will make you lots of friends. People enjoy watching other people get burned, and you will seem more Right if other people are Wrong.

Be voluminous.

Remember, people are often baffled by long collections of words. Repeat yourself often, and post replies to everything that you can, particularly if you can manage to turn it into a point for yourself. Stroke the ego of those that support you.

Part 3: Ending the thing

Inevitably, these things lose steam and peter out. It is best if you can be offensive enough to be kicked out on your ear or have your posts deleted. That way you walk away a martyr, because you were Right, and They were Wrong, and being censored proves that. You can rest on your moral superiority. Your fans and supporters can wail about the terrible injustice heaped upon you, and some of them may even take up the banner you leave behind.

And remember, your no-holds-barred method of complaining generally makes things more hostile for people with actual critiques of a system who honestly try to help things, and sours the attitudes of the people involved indirectly. If you follow this helpful advice for not getting things accomplished, you can leave behind a legacy of mistrust and bitterness. If you are aggressive enough, you might even shut down the institutions you have beefs with.

All of this without even having to come up with solutions! How can you lose?